UPDATE

This morning started well enough with a reflection/ re-read of all my previous postings. The following are statements on the progress I've made in each area.

• Plan a wedding (nuptial renewal event)-- See 'To Wed or Not To Wed' we may still party but a nice out of country, week-long trip would be great too.
  

• Buy a house/ find a new apartment with a washer and dryer -- With the economy the way it is Phillip and I have a lot of options. The main goal is to save as much money as possible to take care of our debt. Second is location. Meanwhile, Catt moves out the last week of July.
  

1. We could stay where we are (renew the lease in Nov)
2. Move somewhere different for less and maybe a little closer to work for me
3. Go in on renting a house with Phillip's Aunt and Uncle (4 bed, 3+ bath for $1200 a month in Dekalb/Central Fulton area)
   
4. Buy/Rent a loft or small house for just us

• Visit friends and family all over the country -- I went to Detroit, MI for a week with Jekka and John. Will probably visit more family when Phillip get home in the Fall. I'm trying to stay in touch with many of my friends since I have the time. Usually I'm doing some of this throughout a week:Trivia and TV watching with Darryll and DeDe; Dinners and theater events with Lena/ babysit Render; Sleepovers at Jekka and John's; Ma Jong at Craig's; Annual party with Adrienne; Spending time with Tricia and chilling with my sorority sisters.

• Take a much needed trip for relaxation -- Really I've done tons of relaxing right here in the apartment, but I will get a pedicure one of these days. This has turned into Going to TNX Convention in Philadelphia this September.

• Study and pass the GACE (Pedagogy) -- My test is August 22nd. Yesterday, I requested lots of books from the library to help me study and I brought a study guide book earlier this spring to work with. It's just 5 weeks away and school starts in 2. I've decided to take the High School Sociology GACE test as well since I have an actual degree in that, it's consider a science= higher pay, and I would be considered highly qualified. And once I got the certification I can go back to school for a Master in Education.

• Payoff all Phillip's and my bills -- This one has had its challenges ('Hidden Costs') but I think we are doing well. We got one card almost completely paid off but then we used it to buy my sister's ticket for her mission trip ('The Goddess and Her Money'). Otherwise everything is current and up-to-date.
  

• Get matching wooden wedding bands-- have designed them, but need to get confirmation on the commission and start the payment plan. (This got set to the side during my trip and the whole credit card issue)

• Learning more about Druidry, Wicca and Druidcraft-- I'm actually pretty proud of my progress. Phillip and I are corresponding in Ogham now, we created a Book of Shadows blog and we have continued our practice of reviewing some aspect of divination regularly. We're currently working on The Druidcraft Tarot in comparison to the Sidhe Tarot.
  

• Expanding my Spirituality-- I have begun listening regularly to Ariel's Druidic Craft of the Wise Podcast along with reading other Wiccan and Pagan based media. I hope to develop a regular mediation period in my daily routine as suggested in ' Lifestyle Changes'.

• Start my stationary business--I have done some interesting project with paper this summer. Lena came over for craft night and we marbleized some old stationary i had with paint and shaving cream. It was allot of fun! I also plan to make my own paper out of the shredded scrape from when i cleaned out my filing system. As far as business goes I'm researching my craft at this point by checking out instructional videos and books from the library and reading craft blogs. This should be crafting in general since there are other craft projects that i want to do as well although it would be nice to sell them I'm fine just being creative.

• Lose 20 lbs.-- This goes into being healthier the lower I keep my weight the lower my risk for heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes and all the other things black women are susceptible too. so I've taken up Lyra with is an aerial art form perform mostly in cirque-style shows and burlesque. It takes tons of core strength to do since your lifting your own body weight. It also has a sensual grace to it because of the various poses and positions. I enjoy it very much and look forward to getting my own equipment.

• Get on a better fitting birth control to our lifestyle-- Went to my OBGYN, Dr. DeMarco, who was very happy with my pap and overall health. I got a shiny new Nuva Ring prescription now I just need to check prices of the various pharmacies nearby to get it filled.

• Catch-up on all my favorite TV shows and movies-- This I've been doing at DeDe's (watching Bravo cooking and fashion shows with Uncle Darryll), checking out movies from the Library, and watching shows on my laptop via Hulu.com and other sites
  

• Save Money-- We are still working on the saving aspect of our finances such as creating an emergency fund and over the long-term for future large purchases (house, trips, school, kids, retirement etc)

• Get ready for our Camping Retreat in October-- We're considering going to Asheville, NC even if we don't camp but I got a video on camping for beginners from the library, looked at some different camping sites in the National Parks system nearby and joined the REI co-op for discounts on camping supplies anyway. We may not do this in October but next spring/summer instead.
  
• Research my family history as far back as possible-- I started getting family information together for the Dents, Perkins, Lawson's, and Whitfield's on Geni. Now I must go to the census and see what i can find there. It was really nice since lots of cousins added their information and now we have a pretty up-to date record of everyone in the family.

• Start writing fiction again/ publish a story-- haven't written a story yet but i have been blogging which in a way is story telling in itself, sort of.

• Work in my container garden-- my "garden" is coming along very nicely. I have two sweet potato vines, parsley, basil, oregano, mint, chives, cherries and I have peaches to be planted in the fall. I haven't gotten to actual veggies (mostly because of timing and space) but as this being my first garden I'm proud of my herbs.

• Go vegetarian-- I'm enjoying it ! 'Just and Ordinary Day...' & 'Lifestyle Changes'

"I will be abstinent, non-alcoholic, no meat-eating and spiritually reflective as well." Truthfully I have masturbated. I'm currently working on focusing that energy into being a better partner physically/ sexually. And strangely my alcoholic in take has increase right around the time my meat eating stopped. I think it has to do with a carb craving but it has not been heavy drinking just a beer/ale/ wine here or there socially which isn't any more or less that I drank before going veggie or ever. My spiritual reflections are noted above and in previous blogs.

"My resolution is to keep a food journal..." I did this for two day on my phone's notepad which was very convenient but I was on vacation. I don't understand my current reluctance but will try to get back in the habit. Especially since 5 small meals a day with a protein heavy one in the morning is a little unusual for me.

"By the time Philip returns I will have been veggie long enough that its a standing habit and will be cooking veggie meals regularly." I'm still experimenting but finding things to make has not been as hard as I initially thought. The goal is to remain flexible and try new things.

Wow!!!!
I tought this would be a short list but not until I was two hours into writing did a realize how much I've done thus far this summer, with plenty still to do. I might need a whole other break after this one.

WIP

Lifestyle Changes

So this past month I became vegetarian. No meat but I still eat fish, eggs and dairy along with the usual fruits, beans, grains, nuts and veggies. There has been a great improvement I think to my health- skin feels better, drinking more water, energy, weight loss and a host of other things that have probably happened and I just haven't noticed just yet.
I'm quite proud of my recent trip to Detroit, MI over the 4th of July weekend- where I only had fish once in a meal. Everything else was soy, fruits, and veggies. John, Jekka's husband, and fellow veggie lover helped me tons with ordering out. I had gotten good at making veggie friendly dishes at home but was hitting a bump when it came to eating out. My husband also suggested some great places to eat in and around Atlanta.
I was even more pleasantly surprised that I was doing a good thing for m body when I saw an episode of "the Doctors" and the mentioned a diet based on the needs of your blood type. This was very much similar to a diet I had read about in the past that connect your body type structure to primary food groups (genotype diet). After doing some research I found that both diets have the same founder!

Below is an excerpt from the website 'Eat Right for Your Type' about the blood type A, by Dr. Peter J. D'Adamo:
What Makes a 'Type A' an Individual?



What makes Me Me and You You?

This is the question that is at the heart of the genetic puzzle. It is also central to our exploration of blood types. The key is genetic heritage - the story line of your life. Even though you are living in the 21st century, you share a common bond with your ancestors. The genetic information that resulted in their particular characteristics has been passed on to you.

People who are A blood type have a different set of characteristics than people who are Type O - they are susceptible to different diseases, they should eat different foods and exercise in a completely different manner. Some believe that personality is influenced by blood type! Dr. D'Adamo, author of the best selling books Eat Right for Your Type and Live Right for Your Type, among others, gives us a blueprint for living in his books. Read on to learn more about the Type A individual.

Type A History

The Type A emerges into the 21st century with many more complex challenges than their ancestors could have imagined. The key factor in the development of Type A can be traced to the struggle for survival long ago, when there was a rapidly dwindling supply of hunting game stock. Having exhausted the great game herds of Africa, humans pushed farther out from their ancestral home into Europe and Asia. The cultivation of grains and livestock changed everything. For the first time, people were able to forgo the hand to mouth lifestyle of the hunter/gatherer and establish stable communities. Over time the adaptations that produced Blood Type A were based on the need to fully utilize nutrients from carbohydrate sources. These biological adaptations can still be observed today in Type A's digestive structure. Low levels of hydrochloric acid in the stomach and high intestinal disaccharide digestive enzyme levels permit the more efficient digestion of carbohydrates. According to Dr. D'Adamo, these are also the very factors, along with low levels of intestinal alkaline phosphatase, that make it difficult for Type As to digest and metabolize animal protein and fat.

What Makes Type A Unique

Many neurochemical factors in the Type A genetic disposition favor a structured, rhythmic, harmonious life, surrounded by a positive, supportive community. The harried pace and increased sense of isolation experienced by so many in today's society often make these needs difficult to achieve. Type A best exemplifies the powerful interconnections between mind and body. This was vital to the shift away from hunting and procurement to building and growing. However, Type A's more internalized relationship to stress, which served your ancestors well, can be a challenge for the modern Type A. The Blood Type Diet's proactive mix of lifestyle strategies, hormonal equalizers, gentle exercise and specialized dietary guidelines will maximize your overall health; decrease your natural risk factors for cancer, diabetes and cardiovascular disease. The result: high performance, mental clarity, greater vitality and increased longevity.

Type A Diet

"When we discuss 'diet,' we are not talking necessarily about a weight loss plan, that's a side benefit to following this plan. We are actually discussing diet in the more traditional sense, meaning a way to eat," explains, Dr. D'Adamo. Type As flourish on a vegetarian diet - if you are accustomed to eating meat, you will lose weight and have more energy once you eliminate the toxic foods from your diet. Many people find it difficult to move away from the typical meat and potato fare to soy proteins, grains and vegetables. But it is particularly important for sensitive Type As to eat their foods in as natural a state as possible: pure, fresh and organic. "I can't emphasize enough how this critical dietary adjustment can be to the sensitive immune system of Type A. With this diet you can supercharge your immune system and potentially short circuit the development of life threatening diseases."

Handling Stress

In this busy, ever changing world, it's almost impossible to avoid every day stress. Type As have a naturally high level of the stress hormone cortisol and produce more in response to stressful situations. Cortisol is released in 24-hour patterns, typically in the early morning between six and eight A.M. with a gradual decrease during the day. It helps to cue the body's other cyclical rhythms. Due to the naturally elevated cortisol in type As, additional stress often manifests in several ways; disrupted sleep patterns, daytime brain fog, increased blood viscosity (thickening), and promotes muscle loss and fat gain. In extreme cases in Type As, stress can manifest in more serious ways, causing obsessive-compulsive disorder, insulin resistance and hypothyroidism. To help balance cortisol levels, Dr. D'Adamo recommends that you limit sugar, caffeine and alcohol. Don't skip meals, especially breakfast; eating smaller, more frequent meals will also help to stabilize blood sugar levels. He also points out that the following factors are known to increase cortisol levels and increase mental exhaustion for Type As - be aware and limit your exposure when possible:

• Crowds of people
• Loud noise
• Negative emotions
• Smoking
• Strong smells or perfumes
• Too much sugar and starch
• Overwork
• Violent TV and movies
• Lack of sleep
• Extreme weather conditions (hot or cold)

Calming Exercise - The Critical Component for Health and Well Being

Heightened cortisol levels make it harder for Type As to recover from stress. Research has demonstrated that overall cortisol levels can be lowered through a regular program of exercises that provide focus and calming effects. Make these activities a regular - and life saving - part of your lifestyle. Dr. D'Adamo recommends, Hatha Yoga, Tai Chi and Meditation and Deep Breathing Exercises. Meditation has been studied for its effects on stress hormones. It was found that after meditation, serum cortisol levels were significantly reduced. Writes Dr. D'Adamo, "While it's fine for Type As to participate in more intense physical activity when healthy and in good condition, be aware that these forms of exercise do not act as safety valves for stress in your blood type. I have seen Type As excel at weight lifting and aerobic activities, but you have to be careful about not over training, as that will actually raise cortisol levels."

The Personality Connection

Blood Type is a marker of individuality - and perhaps of personality as well. In Japan, it has long been believed that Blood Type is an indicator of personality - in fact, you are likely to be asked your blood type in a job interview or while out on a date with a potential mate! In a study conducted by Dr. D'Adamo in 1999, he found some interesting connections between blood type and personality. Type As most often described themselves in ways related to the following characteristics: sensitive to the needs of others, good listeners, detail oriented, analytical, creative and inventive.

Live Right!

In addition to exercise, stress management and eating the right foods, here are some key lifestyle strategies for Type A individuals.

• Cultivate creativity and expression in your life
• Establish a consistent daily schedule
• Go to bed no later than 11:00 PM and sleep for 8 hours or more. Don't linger in bed, as soon as you get up, get going!
• Take at least two breaks of 20 minutes each during the work day. Stretch, take a walk, do deep breathing exercises or meditate.
• Don't skip meals
• Eat more protein at the start of the day, less at the end
• Don't eat when you are anxious
• Eat smaller, more frequent meals. (3 meals & 2 snacks)
  
• Engage in 30 to45 minutes of calming exercise at least 3 times a week.
• Plan regular screening for heart disease and cancer prevention.
• Always chew food thoroughly to enhance digestion. Low stomach acid makes digestion more difficult.

It amazes me how on the mark some of these things are and I notice throughout my day to day routine. It seems that I am on the right tract and with just a few more lifestyle changes I will be much better off.


WIP

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The Goddess and Her Money

Family, Religion and Money are three things that should not be mixed yet these topics came sliding together Wednesday afternoon. My husband and I's goal this summer has been to get out of debt. We have ultimately given up quite a lot in order too do this. We have a roommate, we eloped and my husband volunteered for deployment. We set goals and are continuously working on managing our money to meet them. We are by no ways in the complete clear but we are one payment away from paying off the first of three credit cards. We can see the finish line and then there is a hurtle.

That hurtle being my sister, who has decided that being a missionary is her calling. She found a trip to Australia to go on. Being the big sister I'm initially supportive until I find out some more details about the goals of the trip. One being to convert the Muslim population who vacation in the Gold Coast area. I was very frank with my sister stating my views on co-existence (which she does not share) and appreciation of multiculturalism along with my core belief that, "there is only one [Universal Power] and [they are powerful] to all: therefore it is important that everyone is seen as equals before [Them]. I've always said we should help a Hindu become a better Hindu, a Muslim become a better Muslim, a Catholic become a better Catholic."--Mother Teresa

Besides the religious perspective the last thing I want is for my sister who has a very big heart for Christ to get involved in some Christian fundamentalist cult of conservatism and get hurt on the other side of the world trying to change a peoples' cultural religion. My husband and I agreed that although we didn't agree with this particular mission of this trip we could be supportive of my sister's efforts if that's what the Universal Power wanted for her. We each contributed in our own ways I brought her a $100 backpack to use primarily on the trip and Philip donated about $50, we were both satisfied with that.
Two weeks ago my sister's trip was topic of discussion again, her trip is scheduled for mid-July, as to whether we could afford to make another donation and again the discussion of supporting a mission not in line with our beliefs or values. We decided that at that time we couldn't afford giving a couple hundred dollars with our current budget.

Done deal, right? Wrong! This article is called 'The Goddess and Her Money' for a reason.

Five months ago I was listening to a podcast that really stuck a cord with me. I read about five to six personal finance blogs a day, but this was a podcast about Wicca, that my husband enjoyed and recommended to me. In it Ariel, the host, was going over giving issues over to the Goddess (one of the major aspects of the Universal Power) and doing Her will in the situation. The primary focus was money and how we can give everything else to Her and not the money ones. Then when we get into trouble with money we do all the spells and prays to rectify the situation, it works but then some time passes and we're back in the same situation. Ariel's thoughts were that if we just give it over to Her (conceptualize that any funds we get are to do Her will in the world) then worrying about bills getting paid is like worrying if corn is going to grow; They (all aspects of the Universal Power) will provide.
I had shared this idea with my sister and she concurred that Christians have a similar one, and we then discussed being good Stewards of a Higher Power's finances.

Being a good Steward is not always easy and I have to admit the concept was new too me at the time. I have learned so much about myself and in knowledge just by embracing this concept. It has become a comfort too me esp. in those trying moments of not falling into past behaviors.

In the midst of being in conversation with my husband about how great it feels to accomplish our goal of paying off the credit card. I had stated we should never use the card again. My husband in an effort to be reasonable said it would be good to have in an emergency. My counterpoint is that we should be saving for an emergency fund, by paying ourselves first etc, a credit card is not an emergency cash fund. Hurdle!

My sister calls all frantic and upset that she still needs her ticket for her trip and that the company who acts as her sponsor will only reimburse her, but she needs a credit card to book the flights.
Do we have a credit card? Sort of...
Could we buy her ticket and she'd give us the reimbursement? sort of...

I personally have learned a very hard lesson with credit cards...I'm not successful with them. The ones we have are Philip's.
And too keep the peace in so many ways (it being my sister) He left it up too the Universe to solve and me to handle the light work at the cost of his peace of mind.

I, on the other hand, putting my whole faith in the Universe aside for just a moment, am looking for the blind spot in all this. There had better be some incredibly lost souls in Australia because I don't get it (but who am I to presume to know what the Universe has in store for any of us). Maybe this is how God proves to my sister that I'm right in my core that we must co-exist, how else do you explain the Spiritualist and the Wiccan financing the Christian to share the words of the Christian God to others primarily of the Muslim faith?
But on the money tip, in the best case we smoothly still pay off this credit card by August; in the worst my marriage ends. I can't even fathom that but everyday we make choices and living with the decisions we make is the hardest part which is why I have chosen to put all of this in faith at Her Feet.

Goddess of All,
Divine Creator and Destroyer
I give you the vows of my marriage,
our wallets and our futures
to do Your will in the World
as good stewards and living examples
of the Universal Divine.
Blessed Be.

To Wed or Not to Wed?

I know, I know you say "But You're already married!"
And the marriage started wonderfully! It was genuine, intensely sweet and heartfelt. Committing to my husband in a Midnight ceremony in a 126 year-old park of Atlanta, surrounded by our closest friends (not even family made it and I'll get to that later) and the elements is my fondest memories of our relationship, a dream come true. We then honeymooned in Gatlingsburg, TN. Total we spent maybe $600! Although we eloped we still got gifts from family and had two receptions (FedEx and The Lawson side).
I doubt that Philip gets this reaction but I have had many friends, co-workers, and family approach me with their expectations and opinions of how I went about getting married. I've gotten a spectrum from those who( for whatever reason) felt dejected that I didn't have a 'huge' wedding; some thought I wouldn't have handled planning one well; and then there are those who thought I would've never gotten married unless I was pregnant or dying.

Some of these observations have been correct while other completely unfounded.

I call it a "wedding" meaning A group celebration of our commitment that involves my family as well as Philip's along with close friends. I want a "wedding" and even thought I'm already married because there are pieces of me that feel it's needed. It's probably mostly tied into my family origins. My parents were married in a courthouse ceremony after dating for six months, 23 years later it ended in divorce. There are so many similarities between those events and mine currently that it's frightening. The apple is right under the tree on this one. Not to mention the fact that I was in two beautiful weddings a month apart right before my husband and I started dating seriously, one of them being my Mom's second marriage.
Now of course I realize that my marriage will be totally different from my parents and that's why I think this is an issue for me. I want to make it different in the minds of my family as well.

In dealing with these feelings I have been reading lots of articles online with two primary goals. One) to gather all kinds of different ideas to include in my main event
Two) to really see how the other side of this argument that my actual wedding was just fine because I did have everything We wanted and I needed to be satisfied with it.

The first day was the easy part. I found my old notebook, a spiral section full of my feelings and ideas at the time. The list that follows is a list of everything I had to have in my wedding ceremony to be exactly what I wanted. The next day I'll read all about how this is one of the main things that you need to do to save tons of money on your wedding. Ultimately I was just following Advice I had given myself to my best friend, Jessica, at the beginning of her wedding planning when her mother/wedding financier started to take over aggressively.

CEREMONY:

1. Check to see if Robyn can officiate?
2. Call the elements (earth,air, fire, water)
3. Pass Rings thru guests
4. Recite own vows/poem
5. Exchange rings
6. Tying of the hands
7. Jumping the broom
8. Cake cutting
9. Tossing the bouquet/garter
10. Photos (Ann, Lena's photographer)
11. Signed pictures frame
12. 15 mins couples' private time
13. Reception lunch/dinner

Of these things I got everything too a tee! Lena actually took pictures, but the garter toss and the signed picture frame weren't missed. I also wrote something about the planning of a wedding being the 'training ground' for actual marriage. This idea I mainly got from watching many couples go through the obstacle course of engagement. Exclusively our first year has been challenge enough without the added stress I had previously deemed vital to testing our commitment. At this point I have separated the events; into my ceremony (what already happened) and my reception (that has yet to happen). I was not totally convinced that perusing the 'wedding' issue was unnecessary.

So today was for the second objective. I read many articles from some highly trusted personal finance blogs about the high cost of weddings. The reality is that the average wedding cost $28,000, that's my total student loan debt so there is no way that was coming out of our pockets. My mom had just had her $12,000 wedding and my dad was not in any mood to contribute. If this event was going to happen we are going to be paying for it ourselves. Most of the articles I read had all kinds of suggestions as to how to cut back on the actual cost of the wedding. Things like serving cupcakes instead of a full cake; having your friends provide everything from music to flowers to officiating and skipping all that stuff altogether and eloping.

But the most pervasive was "The $28,000 question: Why are we all hypocrites about weddings?" especially the comments by fellow readers. The article talks about how we as a society don't plan for the biggest expenses in our lives, things like college, weddings, houses, retirement but mainly weddings. It begged the question for me at least, "why did it bug me that I didn't have the huge 'storybook' wedding?

Mainly because that's not Reality!

I think in this case I did get caught up in the mystique of the wedding industry and the Cinderella syndrome (remember she didn't have money either but a fairy god-mother and she married an Actual Prince).

I still want a party but that's just because I like too. I have a very wonderful thing and when I found it (love) and the one who would and does that with me forever (Philip) he and I did not let it get bogged down with the details. As I told Lena right before I got to the ceremony site,
"I've stripped layers off this Type A 'perfectionist attitude' that I've had, who would've thought that I would trust my husband to setup our ceremony? After I loaded the car I let it go and gave him the directions and knew it would work, that is not usually Trina. I'm not even worried and it's okay!"
And the ceremony was, our marriage is and continues to be perfectly fine. More than anything I have been glad to let those restrictive layers go, marrying Philip has been one of the most liberating things I've ever done in my life. Within the whirlwind of our love there are no social expectations to fulfill only ours to ensure each others happiness.

Too this end I have told my husband that I'm glad we didn't spend tons of money. I look at that list and know that our wedding was everything WE wanted. I'm grateful I listened to him when he told me how he felt and that I for the most part don't let my hypocrisy get the best of me.

I will take Ramit's advice on one thing: saving for the future big expenses! It 's a great idea and a realistic one since we all know that life happens. An example would be that miraculously Philip saved his tax return and that took care of most our wedding costs. We got set back a little but not nearly as much if we had taken on a full-year planning production. Even too me after reading this article its not okay to not save money since we know we want to go back to school, travel, buy a house, kids are coming (not now but in the three-to-four-years future), retire and I don't ever want to make a decision during an emergency based on what we can't afford.

Just an Ordinary Day......

Children are interesting creatures. I can say this because I babysit my godson, Render, once a week. On that day like today we go to Gymborree which is an early childhood learning center where you do instructed play with children based on their developmental level.

Which is all fine and good, but it's so competitive well not for the kids but for the parents. It all my Kid can do that or this or did it earlier than average and yours. Today, I was getting sucked in with begin questions like, "how old is he?". What's even scarier is the fact that I have conscious thoughts like "Philip will have trained our kids to get in and out of the car seat by 18 months..." or "naps won't be a problem because we'll have a regimented schedule...." or the scariest too me " I really need to find out what books/ experiments/behavior models Philip read to train Christopher...."

As an educator I should know better!

Besides random thoughts I had a pretty productive day. Got many bills paid; deleted useless software from my computer (yes lime wire is gone); finished part of my craft project; read the first chapter of Druidcraft [which has a pleasant ritual to begins one's journey with along with a home blessing that I would like to use once Philip and I get a new place]; lyra class; watched two movies [The Curse of the Yellow Flower & As You like It from the library]; wrote in this blog and my other.

On a Vegetarian Note:
I was very frustrated today when after my lyra class I was in need of nourishment and was stumped as to where to go for a quick bit. I ended up at Arby's which in my mind until recently was A healthy place to eat. I was grumpy feeling the drop of workout endorphins when I looked at the drive-thru menu and saw only one tiny picture that looked green enough to be a salad. I spent $8.00 on a salad (I got a dollar off for not having the meat) a drink and fries. I realized much too late that I would've gotten a better salad at Souper Salads for the same price.

My resolution is to keep a food journal which is my usual practice in the event I feel gluttonous after the winter holidays. I will have to keep veggie-friendly snacks and water with me until I am able to decide on decent "fast food" options. My hope is that spending time with John and Jekka will rub on me some good habits. And finally as not to beat myself up for falling off the horse I have allowed myself one meal in a full week in which I can eat meat, this is where the food dairy becomes handy.
My goal is to not ever use my four meat meal option but if I do I shall be encouraged by the period at which I didn't eat meat and continue with my lifestyle changes. By the time Philip returns I will have been veggie long enough that its a standing habit and will be cooking veggie meals regularly.

WIP

In To The Woods...

As of late my husband and I have been learning Ogham as a form of divination used by Druids. It has been very interesting learning all the coordinating trees, symbols and meanings. My initial background is Wiccan which I have been for some years now. I practice solitary which is how I like it. I can create my own rituals and doctrine as I need or feel inspired too. Although I am very private about what I practice spiritually I am very comfortable sharing with others my beliefs.
Until Beltane I never really questioned where or how I stood in the Wiccan realm. Alone on a hill with a Tree was a perfectly nice spot.
For Beltane, Philip and I along with my friend Lena, joined a new Druid Order in ritual and celebration. We all had very different reactions to the forces about. For me it was one of the most physically evident rituals I have ever experienced. All previous ones were dreamscapes or the coming together of events and actions that is only possible by Her will denoted to me by intuition.
But something that night called to me. I was very nervous before was we drove to the sanctuary. I could feel myself pulling out of the consciousness that we occupy daily as we go through our routines. Lena was trying to hold a conversation with me about how the past few days had been very rough for her emotionally and romantically, I can admit that only a very small part of me cared I could not map out a spatial reality on which to connect with her issues. My main objective was to get the pie (for fellowship afterward) and get to the church on time.

We got there just in time!

Now I don't know if it was the way the ritual was set or my mindset or it could have been all things finally coming together in time and space but I felt my hands, one individually warm like when you hold them to the fire after coming in from the cold and the other cool as if my hand had just been wet, though it was dry the temperature was the same. At points through the ritual the heat and coolness spread up my arms and I was completely divided and balanced between the two.
Then my visualizations were also very intense and vivid. Rings and columns of red, blue and yellow covering and connecting those in the circle. And once I heard Lena reaction there was a distinct block, like she was not included, I remember everyone in the circle being covered and connected but there was also a feeling of a void to my left, where Lena had been.
She later related that she too had strong feelings of being pushed out and of destruction. It was as clear to her that she shouldn't be there as it was for me to be there. We went outside to the grove and did a ritual for Lena and ultimately I think that why she came with us that night because she recommitted herself to her practice. Being a solitary I can tell you that having a balancing counter part to work with can be so necessary at times. To many often we are left to our own devices as to how to express the God and Goddess and their various forms; the duplicity can be difficult to manage. She too commented on my hands.
I really don't know what the others felt, Philip felt something but didn't really share. I was wrapped in the magnitude of these hands of power and their meaning. Which brings us to the present and the flood of Druidry that lands at my feet. Spiritually the connection to Nature has always played an important role. I try very hard to live my beliefs daily and show them in my actions.
I feel that I have stood on this hill with this great Tree next to me for a long time; it has sheltered and protected me and I cared for it as well. And then I, full maiden, turn around and realize that there is a forest, beautiful and grand, that calls to me to explore it. Currently I am at the treeline playing along the shrubs and bushes as a little girl. The trees tower over me with wisdom, knowledge, and impressive strength. Fear and worry of losing my way and not being able to come back consume me. I hover....

This is a new journey for me. I have no idea what's in store, which is how She works.