It has been a really long time since I've blogged..... okay a really, really long time.
It seems that I have just been going through an ebb and flow on a cosmic scale. I personally find myself in similar places, doing similar things and making similar comments very close to last year. It has been annual deja`vu. [ redacted personal statement]
18 months later...
Being a WIFE, especially Philip's WIFE is hard. I'm no longer the scared, eager bunny worried about if something will upset him or make him not love me (he has proven that he loves me in that way that all humanity is loved but he clearly does not like me everyday and even then he has his preferences to certain parts for function). I'm a tired, weary hare currently( last week I was all cuddle bunny and it was GREAT!). Mostly this is from managing his issues while working on mine.
I will admit I'm a capable girl if nothing else, I can take a lot of wear and tear before I really fall apart. I'm the essence of hard-working and I can be resilient if necessary. I've learned some of these skills the hard way and others from really good advice. Not to mention my physical flexible and open-mindedness to experiment in different ways of pleasuring my partner. I am The Hotness, I'm a cool chick but there is a line.
Line--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I think as much as we don't like to admit it we all have expectations (we are socialized critters after all) these expectations can be from anything from childhood experiences to your Judeo-Christian upbringing. They can even be the result of negative events. So here are my 4 major expectations as a WIFE.
- Being your WIFE gives me certain privileges with you and vice verse. This could be anything depending on the couple- but for us I let Philip lightly joke during serious conversations, he asks my opinion before he makes major decisions, sexual favors etc. The point is do no take privileges for granted or misuse this "Pass Card" for things-that-you-do-that-annoy-your-loved-one gifted to you by your partner's love and understanding.
- We work as a TEAM with each other. WE have our roles according to skills, capabilities and other characteristics. We Trust the other to do what needs to be done in the appropriate manner in the best interest of US. This takes a gazillion tons of communication almost til we're blue in the face. Please note that roles are NOT based on twisty, nostalgic remembrances of the past's gender roles or even what your parents might have done or not done. If you being the stay-at-home parent works, do it. If you make big bucks, bring those home. Each unique couple uniquely defines their relationship.
- R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Me as your WIFE, Lover and Friend. I hold your confidence, support and trust in high esteem as you should hold mine. We have to listen and acknowledge the boundaries set by the other, even without an explanation forthcoming. Unconditional support means your happiness is priceless. Our behaviors effect our spouse too.
- Love me in words and actions. Things are done in love and are appreciated for the kindness in your heart. Add to my value, invest in me for the profit of our longevity. Being Married is a blessing; having someone to share life with is a blessing. Life is long, do not get so caught up in the short term that you lose sight of the long term. Here is an example of what NOT to do: Dan does not appreciated Mary's income as a teacher but prided himself at paying all the bills from their joint account every month. He would yell at her for grading papers at home or for staying late at school. But it was her paycheck that got them through the rough times before and after a bankruptcy and her getting a second job that repaired their credit enough to buy a house.
