Letting Go

Libra Feb 25 2013 Many people eat a lot of sugar. But because they take that sugar in small increments - a teaspoon here and there - they don't realize just how much they consume. So, if they gave up sugar, they might hardly miss it given the small ways it's distributed - yet they could lose a lot of weight. There is something you are doing that isn't good for you now, and it's blocking your success in a certain area of your life. If you stop it, you will barely notice its absence - but you will notice the enormous benefit it leaves behind. -- Copyright © DailyHoroscope. Download it now — http://bit.ly/DHmobile

What could I let go of? Right now I think it could be expectation(s) of how life, my roles and relationship dynamics are suppose to play out. I have to remind myself to keep my self heart and mind open to all the possibilities not just the one I can perceive. It's the Universal Divine Will that is at work here for the greater good over my short termed will concern for my individual self. I have to trust that Will with my goals and aspirations to provide the course for them to happen. I have to be willing to change for the things that I want.

Inner Voice vs. Ego

My ego has been picking at me all week, its been just a chatter box. I have done my mediation to tune this noise out but it has become quite distracting as of late. I have my objective and I can see the obstacles. Part of me thinks that if I try and do all the other things I want to do then I'll finally get some peace and quiet in my head to do the  things I know I need to do. It seems very backwards and at this point I'm so caught up in this arguememt with my ego that that the very same ego is fearful I won't get any of it done, as in I'll just avoid it all. After being woken up by this chattering this morning I have come to my mediation room for grounding and to gain perspective. So if I babble on it's just me working it out.

My wants:
1- to make a hospital gown for Jessica it will take 6 hours and I want it done before she goes into major labor which could be anytime between now and March first. This 'deadline' makes it feel urgent, and the disapointment of not getting it done in time because of my own procrastination aplifies and is irking me.

The next thing is doing sweet stuff for Philip. Since February 1st it has been my goal to better demonstrate my love and respect for him. It has been a challenge and I do falter sometimes. All last week I've been posting messages on his door and making little things. Well this Tuesday is craft day and I want to make an anniversary card for him. But I also have a list of stuff that I want to make both editable and crafty projects that it feels like if I don't sew and bake them today I won't have the time to present them.

I got to get it all done so then I can study because my test is next week. I just want it all out of the way so I can focus deeply. All this other stuff keeps pulling me out of my mind set. Then there is all the cleaning and clearing out that has to be done before any of the craft or baking can begin.

Here's the list-
Clear off the desk
File papers
Set up sewing machine
Clear table for cutting fabrics
Post three hearts on Philip's door
Make nutella pop tarts
Make red velvet cupcakes
Prep smoothies for the week
Prep dinner/lunches for the week
Cut hospital gown pattern
Sew hospital gown
Cut bag pattern
Sew bag
Start mediation book
Meet Lauren for coffee
Finish coloring card
Practice/ prep Tuesday's craft
Study!!!

I accept that my life will be high energy from this moment on. I accept that not every thing I want done will be done when and at the time that I feel it needs to be done. Ulitmately, I have the power of the universe supporting me so it is possible through my  focusing all this energy toward these goals they will be accomplished.

Thanks Inner Voice I needed to hear the above.

Friendship is Magic

So my new guilty pleasure has been watching 'My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic' to decompress after work. It's so cute, my inner child loves it and it has really good writing as well as character and social skill development. I find that after I watch if it was a rough day socially I can empathize with my co-workers and students perspective better. It makes my heart flutter to see groups and partners work well together. This show inspires me and I have gotten some really creative brainstorms after  a couple of espiodes that have been helpful in creating a work life balance.

These seven friends have kept my mind off of worrying and over analyzing all my comments from my job interviews last week. Things are changing and high energy and staying calm through all of it is imperative. Working on maintaining my balance, keeping to my routines and managing my energy levels. All so I can be 20% more Awesome!

Check it out!

What do you do to unwind? What toys or shows does your inner child play with? 

Name Change

So I changed the name of this blog. I think Nest is a more appropriate name since this is where I will be writing about lifestyle topics and how I'm getting a life.
A Nest has alot of symbolic meaning in relation to life. They are set up to protect and nuture family. Family is a big theme for me this year. I want to cultivate relationships and  go deeper in some of my shallower ones. I realize as with anything else you have to be the family member you want to interact with to do this. In most cases we negect that premise in famial relationships simply because of the societal connotations that anything goes since the physical relation is there. I have expressed this often in the past; why do I let ( insert relative's name here) ( insert verb here: hurt, treat, believe, enable etc) me positively/ negatively  when if they were not related I  would/not allow it?
If you ever asked that same question then you and I are having issues with boundaries. FAMILY  does not mean a person has carte blaunche of you--Only you can allow that as with any interpersonal relationship. I have fallen prey to that false conculsion as well at times; it happens it teaches us.
A Nest is a home, constructed and reconstructed for it's season each piece is choosen with care and specific purpose. I hope to build and develop this space for family with in and with out of myself.
In addition some of the past posts will also become hidden but I hope to add content regularly so you might not even miss it.

WIP,
Trina

Hello 2013!

Super excited that 2013 is here! I have let go of a lot in the past year and my hope is to be open minded and open-hearted in order to fill those new open spaces with creativity and love. I can not express my gratitude enough  for my friends, family and husband for all their support  throughout 2012. Some things to look forward to in 2013:

Continue blogging-- I have wanted to write a book for a really long time and after failing miserably at NANOWRIMO this year i realized that there were other avenues of writing and communication  So I combined my two favorite past times reading about crafting and crafting with writing and got The Perki Giver.
I also decided to update more here and on a family journal that my husband and I keep together. So I'll be writing all the time and maybe in the future that book will come but presently blogging is the new hotness for me.

Physical activity-- I plan to keep this going as well. This past year I trained and ran the Peachtree Road Race 5K, took a spinning class, did Zumba, did yoga, hike a mountain regularly and do kung fu. You can follow me on Fitocracy as well as I level up in the coming year. I just took on a challenge to run more in January and I really want to do the Color Run in April so I think as long as I keep moving I'll be in good shape.

Craft, Craft, Craft-- This last goal kind of fell into my lap, really. It all started with a 30th birthday party at Micheals and next thing I know  I have a craft blog, and a certified scrapbook and paper craft instructor and  I'm setting up meet ups in my classroom for fellow teachers who craft. I couldn't be more thrilled! Creating and making stuff has opened a whole new world for me. It's like I'm using a whole other part of my brain it's joyous!

Growing in Mind and Spirit-- I'm taking online classes on just about everything from teaching and graphic design to how to reason. Along with my spiritual practice I have lots of reading to do. thank go for pdf readers and audio books for getting me through my commute to work a little bit smarter.

Love-- last but not least I have been learning to express true love to those I care deeply about and to everyone around me. It is a daily test to love others as God love us and to keep that faith through the trying of times to learn and grow in that capacity to love. I want to be the best expression of that Love that I can be.

So with all that on my plate all things are possible and I look forward to all that 2013 has to bring!

Happy New Year!

Four Expectations better know as "a really old vent session circa May 2010"

This post has been edited and updated as of 26 DEC 14.
It has been a really long time since I've blogged..... okay a really, really long time.
It seems that I have just been going through an ebb and flow on a cosmic scale. I personally find myself in similar places, doing similar things and making similar comments very close to last year. It has been annual deja`vu. [ redacted personal statement]

18 months later...

Being a WIFE, especially Philip's WIFE is hard. I'm no longer the scared, eager bunny worried about if something will upset him or make him not love me (he has proven that he loves me in that way that all humanity is loved but he clearly does not like me everyday and even then he has his preferences to certain parts for function). I'm a tired, weary hare currently( last week I was all cuddle bunny and it was GREAT!). Mostly this is from managing his issues while working on mine.

I will admit I'm a capable girl if nothing else, I can take a lot of wear and tear before I really fall apart. I'm the essence of hard-working and I can be resilient if necessary. I've learned some of these skills the hard way and others from really good advice. Not to mention my physical flexible and open-mindedness to experiment in different ways of pleasuring my partner. I am The Hotness, I'm a cool chick but there is a line.

Line--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think as much as we don't like to admit it we all have expectations (we are socialized critters after all) these expectations can be from anything from childhood experiences to your Judeo-Christian upbringing. They can even be the result of negative events. So here are my 4 major expectations as a WIFE.

1. Being your WIFE gives me certain privileges with you and vice verse. This could be anything depending on the couple- but for us I let Philip lightly joke during serious conversations, he asks my opinion before he makes major decisions, sexual favors etc. The point is do no take privileges for granted or misuse this "Pass Card"  for things-that-you-do-that-annoy-your-loved-one gifted to you by your partner's love and understanding.
2. We work as a TEAM with each other. WE have our roles according to skills, capabilities and other characteristics. We Trust the other to do what needs to be done in the appropriate manner in the best interest of US. This takes a gazillion tons of communication almost til we're blue in the face. Please note that roles are NOT based on twisty, nostalgic remembrances of the past's gender roles or even what your parents might have done or not done. If you being the stay-at-home parent works, do it. If you make big bucks, bring those home. Each unique couple uniquely defines their relationship.
3. R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Me as your WIFE, Lover and Friend. I hold your confidence, support and trust in high esteem as you should hold mine. We have to listen and acknowledge the boundaries set by the other, even without an explanation forthcoming. Unconditional support means your happiness is priceless. Our behaviors effect our spouse too.
4. Love me in words and actions. Things are done in love and are appreciated for the kindness in your heart. Add to my value, invest in me for the profit of our longevity. Being Married is a blessing; having someone to share life with is a blessing. Life is long, do not get so caught up in the short term that you lose sight of the long term. Here is an example of what NOT to do: Dan does not appreciated Mary's income as a teacher but prided himself at paying all the bills from their joint account every month. He would yell at her for grading papers at home or for staying late at school. But it was her paycheck that got them through the rough times before and after a bankruptcy and her getting a second job that repaired their credit enough to buy a house. 

Week Two

Air Mediation
Goals: manage my routine around work; send off information to manage student loans; cross stitch the air glyph for sampler; AM/ PM yoga; get Carpooling started
Challenges: waking up earlier in the cold mornings; being tired after work
Reflection: I had weird dreams all week, only two I remember enough to write them down. Adrienne and I did carpool once this week so it should work out okay even if our schedules are a little different. I had a headache Monday night but Philip and I did watch this interesting video on Qigong. Now that I understand more of the principles behind it I would probably want to do some next year, although according to the lesson we watched any exercise and mediation routine would enrich your chi. Mr. Richardson said that I might have the gift of Prophecy since in the card I gave him for Christmas stated " I hope you get many books..." and apparently he brought about 2o or so which he says is out of character for him since he is very selective in what he reads and frugal. Friday was a Beautiful Snow Day so no work! We ran errand mostly since Philip got paid we were able to take care of some pressing bills and get groceries. I have yet to start the air glyph or read about the suit of Swords. I have updated all the blogs today however so the thinking wheels have been turning.
I'm proud that I got a lot of sorority business taken care of and I also received my prayer beads which I hope to include a meditation next week since this one is over. Off the BOTA study group.