Gods! It's been months I think since my last posting. And it was all for things going a little nutty when 'the hubby' finally came home. Let's see if I remember correctly;
I Lost my wedding band at Lyra class (this was the band that Philip had sent to me after he left). I had just gotten our wooden rings in the mail and was super excited about having all three. The wood rings turned out beautifully and I love how each matches our skin tones almost to the point where you only see the in-laid lapis or malachite. Meanwhile, Philip is literally flying over my head when Sadie's husband finds my ring. Originally my plan had been to leave school to meet Philip in Savannah but I got side tracked running all the way back up to Decatur to get the wedding ring.
I'm very thankful to have it but learned a very important lesson: All summer friends have been losing everything from babies to jobs to developing mysterious medical illnesses, if losing a ring was all that happened then I'd take the loss in light of my still having a job and a husband. The ring is just a symbol and before it was found and after I did a lot of prayer. I was okay with the ring being a temporary symbol to get me through this period, if that's how SHE meant it to be.
So then I ran back down south made a short pit stop with Jekka and John at Mellow Mushroom for dinner and then I was on the road again for three hours till Savannah.
By the time I get there I'm beyond tried, excited I have that shaky anxious feeling. Seeing my husband for the first time after three months in person was like when I met him the first time "is this real, can I really be this lucky! (my husband is gorgeous, tall, strong, and all man by the way)."
Needless to say we were both very excited and for a moment we couldn't decide what we wanted to do more hold each other and snuggle or make sweet passionate love. The later won out. Being together again was like our first time for me (with less screaming). It was probably new to him too. I have all these new muscles and strength from Lyra that I didn't have before he left.
I'm very proud of myself and that I've stayed with it this long. I want to keep learning more and seeing some of the other girls I know there's a lot more for me too. That's exciting I'm setting goals even (by my 1st Anniversary of Lyra I want to be doing tandem work or at least be able to strip while in Lyra[jk]).
So we came Home after one night and one day in Savannah. We're pretty much back into the regular routine. Philip washing clothes, my trying to cook more often, Fu, Lyra, meeting up with old friends you know the usual whirlwind.
Personally it took some adjusting-- I mean I don't have quite as much going on when Philip is not here. Yes there's work, TNX stuff, Lyra class and visiting family and friends, but mostly I got to read the books that I wanted and study for the GACE (which i passed!!!!!); I rented whatever movie I wanted to watch from old musicals like Oklahoma! and Guys and Dolls or Breakfast at Tiffany's from the library.
I tried really hard not to go "shopping" however, the money management area I still need some conditioning in because we had a big opportunity to really decrease our debt and I just didn't take advantage as aggressively as I felt was in the best way. Definitely, a learning experience. I was surprised that Philip just expected me to tell him what I needed and then expected to respond according to my needs. I've never had that before so I just keep working with what I was given. Even after the money post and those issues got hashed out I couldn't bring myself to ask for more. Now when I looked at how I worked out the budget it was all wrong. I can admit now that I really was more focused on earning his trust. But my concept of his trust issues were very different from what they actually were.
Presently, we've resolved to work together more on our finances and communicating about our personal issues.
Then we went on our trip to North and south Carolina!
We had a blast doing the walking tours of city artwork in Asheville and visiting the Traditional Chinese Medicine school in Boone. We enjoyed the small mountain college town more than we liked Charlotte even though they also had interesting public art all over the downtown area. We also visited his parents, my grandmother and various friends. I enjoyed seeing some of where Philip grew up.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
.... And then the rain stopped
Okay so after printing off the GACE form I need for tomorrow, I went and performed the ritual for the Druidcraft Initiation ceremony.
Basically I read the chapter "The Law of the Returning Tide" aloud. It contained a story of the Selkies, magical seals who come to land during Beltaine to mate for the next generation. While one time a fisherman, Targgart, hide one of the selk's seal skin and tricks her into marrying him for seven years. She has a son who she loves very much but each times she asks for her skin Targgart says "don't you love your husband and your child?" One day the son hears this and knowing where her skin is hidden gives it back to her. They run to the beach and Targgart tries to stop them but he is too late. Every evening there are two fish left on the rocks by Targgart's hut left by the selk for her husband and son.
The story is an allegory for the Law of Returning Tide which states that what ever you put out will return to you. As Druidcraft magicians we can use this law to change our lives, the lives of others and the world.
From there I dedicated myself to using this magic in positive way and for Brigid to guide me as I start this journey. (While I'm doing this a Storm starts full down pour with thunder and lightening-- it's raining so hard it sounds like the ocean {suggested location for this ritual})
I meditated breathing in deep the smell of incense and listening to the storm grow. Something deep inside opened and I could feel my hands; one warm almost hot and the other cool; (like at Beltane) but this time they were solid rods with weight. I could really feel them even when I finished mediating I had to physically set them down to go on with the ritual.
I continued with the Nine Blessings. My initial plan was to sprinkle myself with the water we got from the Great Smokie Mountains but it was raining so hard that I did the first initial sprinkle and then went for the Kitchen door.
I stood in the doorway watching the night sky lite with lightening, listening to thunder and walked out to the middle of the our patio and read all the nine blessings from the Druidcraft book. Then I throw the book inside the kitchen and stood until I was soaked with rain!
BLESSED BE!
I couldn't have asked for more
But then I went back inside to the altar room and was about to close it out when I remembered the Home-Blessing.
This I went around to each room lighting candles or incense (mostly) asking for blessings in and around our home and in and around our lives. This time I did use the Smokie Mountain spring water. Sprinkling a little for each blessing. I ended in the middle of the apartment thanking the Goddess and God for all that had been given to us. I returned to the altar room and closed.
And for a couple minutes the rain stopped and only as I've been writing this post has it started again. Did I mention I was wearing blue.
It is that first step through the tree line.
I trust Her...
Blessed Be!
Basically I read the chapter "The Law of the Returning Tide" aloud. It contained a story of the Selkies, magical seals who come to land during Beltaine to mate for the next generation. While one time a fisherman, Targgart, hide one of the selk's seal skin and tricks her into marrying him for seven years. She has a son who she loves very much but each times she asks for her skin Targgart says "don't you love your husband and your child?" One day the son hears this and knowing where her skin is hidden gives it back to her. They run to the beach and Targgart tries to stop them but he is too late. Every evening there are two fish left on the rocks by Targgart's hut left by the selk for her husband and son.
The story is an allegory for the Law of Returning Tide which states that what ever you put out will return to you. As Druidcraft magicians we can use this law to change our lives, the lives of others and the world.
From there I dedicated myself to using this magic in positive way and for Brigid to guide me as I start this journey. (While I'm doing this a Storm starts full down pour with thunder and lightening-- it's raining so hard it sounds like the ocean {suggested location for this ritual})
I meditated breathing in deep the smell of incense and listening to the storm grow. Something deep inside opened and I could feel my hands; one warm almost hot and the other cool; (like at Beltane) but this time they were solid rods with weight. I could really feel them even when I finished mediating I had to physically set them down to go on with the ritual.
I continued with the Nine Blessings. My initial plan was to sprinkle myself with the water we got from the Great Smokie Mountains but it was raining so hard that I did the first initial sprinkle and then went for the Kitchen door.
I stood in the doorway watching the night sky lite with lightening, listening to thunder and walked out to the middle of the our patio and read all the nine blessings from the Druidcraft book. Then I throw the book inside the kitchen and stood until I was soaked with rain!
BLESSED BE!
I couldn't have asked for more
But then I went back inside to the altar room and was about to close it out when I remembered the Home-Blessing.
This I went around to each room lighting candles or incense (mostly) asking for blessings in and around our home and in and around our lives. This time I did use the Smokie Mountain spring water. Sprinkling a little for each blessing. I ended in the middle of the apartment thanking the Goddess and God for all that had been given to us. I returned to the altar room and closed.
And for a couple minutes the rain stopped and only as I've been writing this post has it started again. Did I mention I was wearing blue.
It is that first step through the tree line.
I trust Her...
Blessed Be!
Gender-roles and the Double (no, wait)Triple Standard
I know, I know I haven't written in a long time. There have been various reasons and parts of them will hopefully been explained below-- this will be a very long entry--
It all began with me watching a video letter from my husband. We have found that this is much quicker than snail mail since we can actually see the other person and share more thoughts that any piece of paper could hold. They have also gotten quite long( hours long) to the point where we must take notes in order to keep track of all the comments made and those we want to respond too. It's All together neat in my book.
Well in one of my videos I made the joke that my husband was need back quickly since I had heavy lifting for him to do along with his regular chores of washing our clothes etc. There was also the comment I made sharing a new perspective I learned while reading about "White Tigers" (sexual teaching of women Taoists) about yin and yang and which approaches men and women should practices [ meditations for men because they are majority yang & active creativity for women since they are majority yin]. For my husband these comments sparked a diatribe about gender-roles, equality and his preconceived double standards especially as it pertains to the military.
Below is my response from yahoo IM: (I'm not angry, just making my opinion clear) * some corrections have been made*
'you doing heavy lifting was also a joke....
just for clarification : the whole period thing was the exact reason for justifying the double standard that you mentioned and in doing so your stir that historical pot. Other than yourself nobody holds against you, your actions or decisions that you slack off during the 3rd moon to new moon phase it is probably not even perceived by others. However, it is always assumed that if a woman does anything out of the socially accepted feminine role then she is PMS-ing because she voiced an opinion, was aggressive or performed well as a leader, basically being masculine.
That masculine side is suppose to be hidden in us. We're not suppose to let it out and if we do there are all kinds of social controls in place to keep us in line and the same goes for men showing their feminine side (IE your neck-rolling gesture if done by a male automatically questions his sexuality). More so a woman who can manage this masculinity to her benefit is rewarded and we are encouraged to be more masculine as appose to gender- neutral because if a man was more femme then he would be criticized and deemed weak. And just so you know women who go over board with the feminine (IE being too girly) are also deemed weak and are negatively reinforced for "setting women back..." by other women as well. Prime example (why most women hate Palin and exalted Hilary during the 2008 elections).
Women to this day are still proving that they can do the same things men can but, what men are attempting to do what women do? It is just socially accepted that men can do anything and women have some form of limitations. As I said on the phone, other than bearing children women can do everything a man can but, even that argument is considered 'hitting below the belt'( pun intended) when it comes to gender roles and capabilities. And for that very physical difference is why 'the double standard' still exist.
The military "let" women in and gave us the standards not the other way around. Many of them are antiquated meaning women started in the military being nurses, sectaries, and all sorts of gender-based jobs. It's the reason women aren't allowed in some areas of combat, planes, ships still.
As for your mother.... Why do we call it "single-Mom"? Was she any different of a mother with or without a spouse? The very term ignites discourse over the lack of male influence and comments like " that poor woman raising two boys all by herself..." When we both know you had males influences and your mom didn't have as much trouble with you and your brother as she statistically could have.
Overall, I will be the first to say "yes, there is a double standard"and "yes, women and men both take advantage of it regularly" be it consciously or unconsciously.
I personally work really hard to not give in, in either way ( this aspect you mentioned about the military is also one that rubbed me the wrong way -- some how the military gets away with separate but equal when it comes to gender).
Okay all that being said my husband is moving into a new area of religious study, Druidry. Which I personally think he will enjoy. I have been working my way thru the Wiccan year-- Her forces propel me-- more by the current situation I find myself in (a new wife to a intense reglious scholar) than directly managed by myself. I have found my way to Druidcraft which is comfortably safe (I'll explain later) between Druidry and Wicca.
Why is it comfortably safe? Because what I realized today is that it scares me to want to follow something just for the sake of doing what my partner is doing. I'm leery of that whole idea of the man being "head" of the household partically in the religious area and I also battle that with this want of being united religiously since our views are so far from the norm especially when it comes to raising kids. (I know) But I never wanted to be apart of those couples that pull their kids both ways (regardless of the faiths involved) until the kids run screaming. Other than that holidays mean family to me, they are those special days were we did something together becoming our family traditions. ( there is something very Victorian and romantic about that...).
but mostly I fear committing to something as deeply compelling as a religious path and then finding my husband has moved on to something else especially if they happened to be the same type path. As a seeker that works perfectly fine for him. Me, on the other hand presently have no drive to discover... okay that's not true, I would love to go deeper into my faith but fear of the unknown is often the cause of my hesitation. Like me putting off the Druidcraft ritual which I could've done the first time I read it or at Lammas or tonight it being a new moon and all.
This is a tightrope act without a net for me. But I always had this feeling. I had hope that having someone who really understood my religion in my life would quill some of that but in most cases it has pushed me out of my solitary comfort zone. The last thing I want to do is answer to some "middle-man" to my goddess or god. ( a lack of pantheon-- allows for less accountablilty on my part 'make a general call, get a general answer")
The Druidcraft is "perfect" since from what I know so far its 'brand new' if anyone else is doing it they haven't formed an encompassing organization yet (lacks accountablity again) and this keeps me poolside with only a toe or two wet as appose to wetting my hair as I watch my husband swim laps.
Do I stay poolside and cheer?
Do I jump in swimming stroke for stroke?
I'm beginning to think this may have been the 'deep end' my husband was referring too when we started dating. In being with him, as his wife, I feel I have agreed to do more than just breezing down my religious path. (duh...I was at my own wedding, which was a true handfasting)
Why am I fighting this?
Its once again one of those things where I think it is 'so easy just to follow my husband let his path parallel mine' and I can't do easy not willingly-- it feels to much like me giving into some feminine power (did I just write that!) perception, expectation.
Is this for me or some passive aggressive social control that has been hidden within marriage that no one has ever told me about?
She says --- Your rambling just go do the ritual....
*work in progress
It all began with me watching a video letter from my husband. We have found that this is much quicker than snail mail since we can actually see the other person and share more thoughts that any piece of paper could hold. They have also gotten quite long( hours long) to the point where we must take notes in order to keep track of all the comments made and those we want to respond too. It's All together neat in my book.
Well in one of my videos I made the joke that my husband was need back quickly since I had heavy lifting for him to do along with his regular chores of washing our clothes etc. There was also the comment I made sharing a new perspective I learned while reading about "White Tigers" (sexual teaching of women Taoists) about yin and yang and which approaches men and women should practices [ meditations for men because they are majority yang & active creativity for women since they are majority yin]. For my husband these comments sparked a diatribe about gender-roles, equality and his preconceived double standards especially as it pertains to the military.
Below is my response from yahoo IM: (I'm not angry, just making my opinion clear) * some corrections have been made*
'you doing heavy lifting was also a joke....
just for clarification : the whole period thing was the exact reason for justifying the double standard that you mentioned and in doing so your stir that historical pot. Other than yourself nobody holds against you, your actions or decisions that you slack off during the 3rd moon to new moon phase it is probably not even perceived by others. However, it is always assumed that if a woman does anything out of the socially accepted feminine role then she is PMS-ing because she voiced an opinion, was aggressive or performed well as a leader, basically being masculine.
That masculine side is suppose to be hidden in us. We're not suppose to let it out and if we do there are all kinds of social controls in place to keep us in line and the same goes for men showing their feminine side (IE your neck-rolling gesture if done by a male automatically questions his sexuality). More so a woman who can manage this masculinity to her benefit is rewarded and we are encouraged to be more masculine as appose to gender- neutral because if a man was more femme then he would be criticized and deemed weak. And just so you know women who go over board with the feminine (IE being too girly) are also deemed weak and are negatively reinforced for "setting women back..." by other women as well. Prime example (why most women hate Palin and exalted Hilary during the 2008 elections).
Women to this day are still proving that they can do the same things men can but, what men are attempting to do what women do? It is just socially accepted that men can do anything and women have some form of limitations. As I said on the phone, other than bearing children women can do everything a man can but, even that argument is considered 'hitting below the belt'( pun intended) when it comes to gender roles and capabilities. And for that very physical difference is why 'the double standard' still exist.
The military "let" women in and gave us the standards not the other way around. Many of them are antiquated meaning women started in the military being nurses, sectaries, and all sorts of gender-based jobs. It's the reason women aren't allowed in some areas of combat, planes, ships still.
As for your mother.... Why do we call it "single-Mom"? Was she any different of a mother with or without a spouse? The very term ignites discourse over the lack of male influence and comments like " that poor woman raising two boys all by herself..." When we both know you had males influences and your mom didn't have as much trouble with you and your brother as she statistically could have.
Overall, I will be the first to say "yes, there is a double standard"and "yes, women and men both take advantage of it regularly" be it consciously or unconsciously.
I personally work really hard to not give in, in either way ( this aspect you mentioned about the military is also one that rubbed me the wrong way -- some how the military gets away with separate but equal when it comes to gender).
Okay all that being said my husband is moving into a new area of religious study, Druidry. Which I personally think he will enjoy. I have been working my way thru the Wiccan year-- Her forces propel me-- more by the current situation I find myself in (a new wife to a intense reglious scholar) than directly managed by myself. I have found my way to Druidcraft which is comfortably safe (I'll explain later) between Druidry and Wicca.
Why is it comfortably safe? Because what I realized today is that it scares me to want to follow something just for the sake of doing what my partner is doing. I'm leery of that whole idea of the man being "head" of the household partically in the religious area and I also battle that with this want of being united religiously since our views are so far from the norm especially when it comes to raising kids. (I know) But I never wanted to be apart of those couples that pull their kids both ways (regardless of the faiths involved) until the kids run screaming. Other than that holidays mean family to me, they are those special days were we did something together becoming our family traditions. ( there is something very Victorian and romantic about that...).
but mostly I fear committing to something as deeply compelling as a religious path and then finding my husband has moved on to something else especially if they happened to be the same type path. As a seeker that works perfectly fine for him. Me, on the other hand presently have no drive to discover... okay that's not true, I would love to go deeper into my faith but fear of the unknown is often the cause of my hesitation. Like me putting off the Druidcraft ritual which I could've done the first time I read it or at Lammas or tonight it being a new moon and all.
This is a tightrope act without a net for me. But I always had this feeling. I had hope that having someone who really understood my religion in my life would quill some of that but in most cases it has pushed me out of my solitary comfort zone. The last thing I want to do is answer to some "middle-man" to my goddess or god. ( a lack of pantheon-- allows for less accountablilty on my part 'make a general call, get a general answer")
The Druidcraft is "perfect" since from what I know so far its 'brand new' if anyone else is doing it they haven't formed an encompassing organization yet (lacks accountablity again) and this keeps me poolside with only a toe or two wet as appose to wetting my hair as I watch my husband swim laps.
Do I stay poolside and cheer?
Do I jump in swimming stroke for stroke?
I'm beginning to think this may have been the 'deep end' my husband was referring too when we started dating. In being with him, as his wife, I feel I have agreed to do more than just breezing down my religious path. (duh...I was at my own wedding, which was a true handfasting)
Why am I fighting this?
Its once again one of those things where I think it is 'so easy just to follow my husband let his path parallel mine' and I can't do easy not willingly-- it feels to much like me giving into some feminine power (did I just write that!) perception, expectation.
Is this for me or some passive aggressive social control that has been hidden within marriage that no one has ever told me about?
She says --- Your rambling just go do the ritual....
*work in progress
Saturday, July 11, 2009
UPDATE
This morning started well enough with a reflection/ re-read of all my previous postings. The following are statements on the progress I've made in each area.
"My resolution is to keep a food journal..." I did this for two day on my phone's notepad which was very convenient but I was on vacation. I don't understand my current reluctance but will try to get back in the habit. Especially since 5 small meals a day with a protein heavy one in the morning is a little unusual for me.
"By the time Philip returns I will have been veggie long enough that its a standing habit and will be cooking veggie meals regularly." I'm still experimenting but finding things to make has not been as hard as I initially thought. The goal is to remain flexible and try new things.
Wow!!!!
I tought this would be a short list but not until I was two hours into writing did a realize how much I've done thus far this summer, with plenty still to do. I might need a whole other break after this one.
WIP
- Plan a wedding (nuptial renewal event)-- See 'To Wed or Not To Wed' we may still party but a nice out of country, week-long trip would be great too.
- Buy a house/ find a new apartment with a washer and dryer -- With the economy the way it is Phillip and I have a lot of options. The main goal is to save as much money as possible to take care of our debt. Second is location. Meanwhile, Catt moves out the last week of July.
- We could stay where we are (renew the lease in Nov)
- Move somewhere different for less and maybe a little closer to work for me
- Go in on renting a house with Phillip's Aunt and Uncle (4 bed, 3+ bath for $1200 a month in Dekalb/Central Fulton area)
- Buy/Rent a loft or small house for just us
- Visit friends and family all over the country -- I went to Detroit, MI for a week with Jekka and John. Will probably visit more family when Phillip get home in the Fall. I'm trying to stay in touch with many of my friends since I have the time. Usually I'm doing some of this throughout a week:Trivia and TV watching with Darryll and DeDe; Dinners and theater events with Lena/ babysit Render; Sleepovers at Jekka and John's; Ma Jong at Craig's; Annual party with Adrienne; Spending time with Tricia and chilling with my sorority sisters.
- Take a much needed trip for relaxation -- Really I've done tons of relaxing right here in the apartment, but I will get a pedicure one of these days. This has turned into Going to TNX Convention in Philadelphia this September.
- Study and pass the GACE (Pedagogy) -- My test is August 22nd. Yesterday, I requested lots of books from the library to help me study and I brought a study guide book earlier this spring to work with. It's just 5 weeks away and school starts in 2. I've decided to take the High School Sociology GACE test as well since I have an actual degree in that, it's consider a science= higher pay, and I would be considered highly qualified. And once I got the certification I can go back to school for a Master in Education.
- Payoff all Phillip's and my bills -- This one has had its challenges ('Hidden Costs') but I think we are doing well. We got one card almost completely paid off but then we used it to buy my sister's ticket for her mission trip ('The Goddess and Her Money'). Otherwise everything is current and up-to-date.
- Get matching wooden wedding bands-- have designed them, but need to get confirmation on the commission and start the payment plan. (This got set to the side during my trip and the whole credit card issue)
- Learning more about Druidry, Wicca and Druidcraft-- I'm actually pretty proud of my progress. Phillip and I are corresponding in Ogham now, we created a Book of Shadows blog and we have continued our practice of reviewing some aspect of divination regularly. We're currently working on The Druidcraft Tarot in comparison to the Sidhe Tarot.
- Expanding my Spirituality-- I have begun listening regularly to Ariel's Druidic Craft of the Wise Podcast along with reading other Wiccan and Pagan based media. I hope to develop a regular mediation period in my daily routine as suggested in ' Lifestyle Changes'.
- Start my stationary business--I have done some interesting project with paper this summer. Lena came over for craft night and we marbleized some old stationary i had with paint and shaving cream. It was allot of fun! I also plan to make my own paper out of the shredded scrape from when i cleaned out my filing system. As far as business goes I'm researching my craft at this point by checking out instructional videos and books from the library and reading craft blogs. This should be crafting in general since there are other craft projects that i want to do as well although it would be nice to sell them I'm fine just being creative.
- Lose 20 lbs.-- This goes into being healthier the lower I keep my weight the lower my risk for heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes and all the other things black women are susceptible too. so I've taken up Lyra with is an aerial art form perform mostly in cirque-style shows and burlesque. It takes tons of core strength to do since your lifting your own body weight. It also has a sensual grace to it because of the various poses and positions. I enjoy it very much and look forward to getting my own equipment.
- Get on a better fitting birth control to our lifestyle-- Went to my OBGYN, Dr. DeMarco, who was very happy with my pap and overall health. I got a shiny new Nuva Ring prescription now I just need to check prices of the various pharmacies nearby to get it filled.
- Catch-up on all my favorite TV shows and movies-- This I've been doing at DeDe's (watching Bravo cooking and fashion shows with Uncle Darryll), checking out movies from the Library, and watching shows on my laptop via Hulu.com and other sites
- Save Money-- We are still working on the saving aspect of our finances such as creating an emergency fund and over the long-term for future large purchases (house, trips, school, kids, retirement etc)
- Get ready for our Camping Retreat in October-- We're considering going to Asheville, NC even if we don't camp but I got a video on camping for beginners from the library, looked at some different camping sites in the National Parks system nearby and joined the REI co-op for discounts on camping supplies anyway. We may not do this in October but next spring/summer instead.
- Research my family history as far back as possible-- I started getting family information together for the Dents, Perkins, Lawson's, and Whitfield's on Geni. Now I must go to the census and see what i can find there. It was really nice since lots of cousins added their information and now we have a pretty up-to date record of everyone in the family.
- Start writing fiction again/ publish a story-- haven't written a story yet but i have been blogging which in a way is story telling in itself, sort of.
- Work in my container garden-- my "garden" is coming along very nicely. I have two sweet potato vines, parsley, basil, oregano, mint, chives, cherries and I have peaches to be planted in the fall. I haven't gotten to actual veggies (mostly because of timing and space) but as this being my first garden I'm proud of my herbs.
- Go vegetarian-- I'm enjoying it ! 'Just and Ordinary Day...' & 'Lifestyle Changes'
"My resolution is to keep a food journal..." I did this for two day on my phone's notepad which was very convenient but I was on vacation. I don't understand my current reluctance but will try to get back in the habit. Especially since 5 small meals a day with a protein heavy one in the morning is a little unusual for me.
"By the time Philip returns I will have been veggie long enough that its a standing habit and will be cooking veggie meals regularly." I'm still experimenting but finding things to make has not been as hard as I initially thought. The goal is to remain flexible and try new things.
Wow!!!!
I tought this would be a short list but not until I was two hours into writing did a realize how much I've done thus far this summer, with plenty still to do. I might need a whole other break after this one.
WIP
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Lifestyle Changes
So this past month I became vegetarian. No meat but I still eat fish, eggs and dairy along with the usual fruits, beans, grains, nuts and veggies. There has been a great improvement I think to my health- skin feels better, drinking more water, energy, weight loss and a host of other things that have probably happened and I just haven't noticed just yet.
I'm quite proud of my recent trip to Detroit, MI over the 4th of July weekend- where I only had fish once in a meal. Everything else was soy, fruits, and veggies. John, Jekka's husband, and fellow veggie lover helped me tons with ordering out. I had gotten good at making veggie friendly dishes at home but was hitting a bump when it came to eating out. My husband also suggested some great places to eat in and around Atlanta.
I was even more pleasantly surprised that I was doing a good thing for m body when I saw an episode of "the Doctors" and the mentioned a diet based on the needs of your blood type. This was very much similar to a diet I had read about in the past that connect your body type structure to primary food groups (genotype diet). After doing some research I found that both diets have the same founder!
Below is an excerpt from the website 'Eat Right for Your Type' about the blood type A, by Dr. Peter J. D'Adamo:
What Makes a 'Type A' an Individual?
What makes Me Me and You You?
This is the question that is at the heart of the genetic puzzle. It is also central to our exploration of blood types. The key is genetic heritage - the story line of your life. Even though you are living in the 21st century, you share a common bond with your ancestors. The genetic information that resulted in their particular characteristics has been passed on to you.
People who are A blood type have a different set of characteristics than people who are Type O - they are susceptible to different diseases, they should eat different foods and exercise in a completely different manner. Some believe that personality is influenced by blood type! Dr. D'Adamo, author of the best selling books Eat Right for Your Type and Live Right for Your Type, among others, gives us a blueprint for living in his books. Read on to learn more about the Type A individual.
Type A History
The Type A emerges into the 21st century with many more complex challenges than their ancestors could have imagined. The key factor in the development of Type A can be traced to the struggle for survival long ago, when there was a rapidly dwindling supply of hunting game stock. Having exhausted the great game herds of Africa, humans pushed farther out from their ancestral home into Europe and Asia. The cultivation of grains and livestock changed everything. For the first time, people were able to forgo the hand to mouth lifestyle of the hunter/gatherer and establish stable communities. Over time the adaptations that produced Blood Type A were based on the need to fully utilize nutrients from carbohydrate sources. These biological adaptations can still be observed today in Type A's digestive structure. Low levels of hydrochloric acid in the stomach and high intestinal disaccharide digestive enzyme levels permit the more efficient digestion of carbohydrates. According to Dr. D'Adamo, these are also the very factors, along with low levels of intestinal alkaline phosphatase, that make it difficult for Type As to digest and metabolize animal protein and fat.
What Makes Type A Unique
Many neurochemical factors in the Type A genetic disposition favor a structured, rhythmic, harmonious life, surrounded by a positive, supportive community. The harried pace and increased sense of isolation experienced by so many in today's society often make these needs difficult to achieve. Type A best exemplifies the powerful interconnections between mind and body. This was vital to the shift away from hunting and procurement to building and growing. However, Type A's more internalized relationship to stress, which served your ancestors well, can be a challenge for the modern Type A. The Blood Type Diet's proactive mix of lifestyle strategies, hormonal equalizers, gentle exercise and specialized dietary guidelines will maximize your overall health; decrease your natural risk factors for cancer, diabetes and cardiovascular disease. The result: high performance, mental clarity, greater vitality and increased longevity.
Type A Diet
"When we discuss 'diet,' we are not talking necessarily about a weight loss plan, that's a side benefit to following this plan. We are actually discussing diet in the more traditional sense, meaning a way to eat," explains, Dr. D'Adamo. Type As flourish on a vegetarian diet - if you are accustomed to eating meat, you will lose weight and have more energy once you eliminate the toxic foods from your diet. Many people find it difficult to move away from the typical meat and potato fare to soy proteins, grains and vegetables. But it is particularly important for sensitive Type As to eat their foods in as natural a state as possible: pure, fresh and organic. "I can't emphasize enough how this critical dietary adjustment can be to the sensitive immune system of Type A. With this diet you can supercharge your immune system and potentially short circuit the development of life threatening diseases."
Handling Stress
In this busy, ever changing world, it's almost impossible to avoid every day stress. Type As have a naturally high level of the stress hormone cortisol and produce more in response to stressful situations. Cortisol is released in 24-hour patterns, typically in the early morning between six and eight A.M. with a gradual decrease during the day. It helps to cue the body's other cyclical rhythms. Due to the naturally elevated cortisol in type As, additional stress often manifests in several ways; disrupted sleep patterns, daytime brain fog, increased blood viscosity (thickening), and promotes muscle loss and fat gain. In extreme cases in Type As, stress can manifest in more serious ways, causing obsessive-compulsive disorder, insulin resistance and hypothyroidism. To help balance cortisol levels, Dr. D'Adamo recommends that you limit sugar, caffeine and alcohol. Don't skip meals, especially breakfast; eating smaller, more frequent meals will also help to stabilize blood sugar levels. He also points out that the following factors are known to increase cortisol levels and increase mental exhaustion for Type As - be aware and limit your exposure when possible:
Calming Exercise - The Critical Component for Health and Well Being
Heightened cortisol levels make it harder for Type As to recover from stress. Research has demonstrated that overall cortisol levels can be lowered through a regular program of exercises that provide focus and calming effects. Make these activities a regular - and life saving - part of your lifestyle. Dr. D'Adamo recommends, Hatha Yoga, Tai Chi and Meditation and Deep Breathing Exercises. Meditation has been studied for its effects on stress hormones. It was found that after meditation, serum cortisol levels were significantly reduced. Writes Dr. D'Adamo, "While it's fine for Type As to participate in more intense physical activity when healthy and in good condition, be aware that these forms of exercise do not act as safety valves for stress in your blood type. I have seen Type As excel at weight lifting and aerobic activities, but you have to be careful about not over training, as that will actually raise cortisol levels."
The Personality Connection
Blood Type is a marker of individuality - and perhaps of personality as well. In Japan, it has long been believed that Blood Type is an indicator of personality - in fact, you are likely to be asked your blood type in a job interview or while out on a date with a potential mate! In a study conducted by Dr. D'Adamo in 1999, he found some interesting connections between blood type and personality. Type As most often described themselves in ways related to the following characteristics: sensitive to the needs of others, good listeners, detail oriented, analytical, creative and inventive.
Live Right!
In addition to exercise, stress management and eating the right foods, here are some key lifestyle strategies for Type A individuals.
WIP
I'm quite proud of my recent trip to Detroit, MI over the 4th of July weekend- where I only had fish once in a meal. Everything else was soy, fruits, and veggies. John, Jekka's husband, and fellow veggie lover helped me tons with ordering out. I had gotten good at making veggie friendly dishes at home but was hitting a bump when it came to eating out. My husband also suggested some great places to eat in and around Atlanta.
I was even more pleasantly surprised that I was doing a good thing for m body when I saw an episode of "the Doctors" and the mentioned a diet based on the needs of your blood type. This was very much similar to a diet I had read about in the past that connect your body type structure to primary food groups (genotype diet). After doing some research I found that both diets have the same founder!
Below is an excerpt from the website 'Eat Right for Your Type' about the blood type A, by Dr. Peter J. D'Adamo:
What Makes a 'Type A' an Individual?
What makes Me Me and You You?
This is the question that is at the heart of the genetic puzzle. It is also central to our exploration of blood types. The key is genetic heritage - the story line of your life. Even though you are living in the 21st century, you share a common bond with your ancestors. The genetic information that resulted in their particular characteristics has been passed on to you.
People who are A blood type have a different set of characteristics than people who are Type O - they are susceptible to different diseases, they should eat different foods and exercise in a completely different manner. Some believe that personality is influenced by blood type! Dr. D'Adamo, author of the best selling books Eat Right for Your Type and Live Right for Your Type, among others, gives us a blueprint for living in his books. Read on to learn more about the Type A individual.
Type A History
The Type A emerges into the 21st century with many more complex challenges than their ancestors could have imagined. The key factor in the development of Type A can be traced to the struggle for survival long ago, when there was a rapidly dwindling supply of hunting game stock. Having exhausted the great game herds of Africa, humans pushed farther out from their ancestral home into Europe and Asia. The cultivation of grains and livestock changed everything. For the first time, people were able to forgo the hand to mouth lifestyle of the hunter/gatherer and establish stable communities. Over time the adaptations that produced Blood Type A were based on the need to fully utilize nutrients from carbohydrate sources. These biological adaptations can still be observed today in Type A's digestive structure. Low levels of hydrochloric acid in the stomach and high intestinal disaccharide digestive enzyme levels permit the more efficient digestion of carbohydrates. According to Dr. D'Adamo, these are also the very factors, along with low levels of intestinal alkaline phosphatase, that make it difficult for Type As to digest and metabolize animal protein and fat.
What Makes Type A Unique
Many neurochemical factors in the Type A genetic disposition favor a structured, rhythmic, harmonious life, surrounded by a positive, supportive community. The harried pace and increased sense of isolation experienced by so many in today's society often make these needs difficult to achieve. Type A best exemplifies the powerful interconnections between mind and body. This was vital to the shift away from hunting and procurement to building and growing. However, Type A's more internalized relationship to stress, which served your ancestors well, can be a challenge for the modern Type A. The Blood Type Diet's proactive mix of lifestyle strategies, hormonal equalizers, gentle exercise and specialized dietary guidelines will maximize your overall health; decrease your natural risk factors for cancer, diabetes and cardiovascular disease. The result: high performance, mental clarity, greater vitality and increased longevity.
Type A Diet
"When we discuss 'diet,' we are not talking necessarily about a weight loss plan, that's a side benefit to following this plan. We are actually discussing diet in the more traditional sense, meaning a way to eat," explains, Dr. D'Adamo. Type As flourish on a vegetarian diet - if you are accustomed to eating meat, you will lose weight and have more energy once you eliminate the toxic foods from your diet. Many people find it difficult to move away from the typical meat and potato fare to soy proteins, grains and vegetables. But it is particularly important for sensitive Type As to eat their foods in as natural a state as possible: pure, fresh and organic. "I can't emphasize enough how this critical dietary adjustment can be to the sensitive immune system of Type A. With this diet you can supercharge your immune system and potentially short circuit the development of life threatening diseases."
Handling Stress
In this busy, ever changing world, it's almost impossible to avoid every day stress. Type As have a naturally high level of the stress hormone cortisol and produce more in response to stressful situations. Cortisol is released in 24-hour patterns, typically in the early morning between six and eight A.M. with a gradual decrease during the day. It helps to cue the body's other cyclical rhythms. Due to the naturally elevated cortisol in type As, additional stress often manifests in several ways; disrupted sleep patterns, daytime brain fog, increased blood viscosity (thickening), and promotes muscle loss and fat gain. In extreme cases in Type As, stress can manifest in more serious ways, causing obsessive-compulsive disorder, insulin resistance and hypothyroidism. To help balance cortisol levels, Dr. D'Adamo recommends that you limit sugar, caffeine and alcohol. Don't skip meals, especially breakfast; eating smaller, more frequent meals will also help to stabilize blood sugar levels. He also points out that the following factors are known to increase cortisol levels and increase mental exhaustion for Type As - be aware and limit your exposure when possible:
- Crowds of people
- Loud noise
- Negative emotions
- Smoking
- Strong smells or perfumes
- Too much sugar and starch
- Overwork
- Violent TV and movies
- Lack of sleep
- Extreme weather conditions (hot or cold)
Calming Exercise - The Critical Component for Health and Well Being
Heightened cortisol levels make it harder for Type As to recover from stress. Research has demonstrated that overall cortisol levels can be lowered through a regular program of exercises that provide focus and calming effects. Make these activities a regular - and life saving - part of your lifestyle. Dr. D'Adamo recommends, Hatha Yoga, Tai Chi and Meditation and Deep Breathing Exercises. Meditation has been studied for its effects on stress hormones. It was found that after meditation, serum cortisol levels were significantly reduced. Writes Dr. D'Adamo, "While it's fine for Type As to participate in more intense physical activity when healthy and in good condition, be aware that these forms of exercise do not act as safety valves for stress in your blood type. I have seen Type As excel at weight lifting and aerobic activities, but you have to be careful about not over training, as that will actually raise cortisol levels."
The Personality Connection
Blood Type is a marker of individuality - and perhaps of personality as well. In Japan, it has long been believed that Blood Type is an indicator of personality - in fact, you are likely to be asked your blood type in a job interview or while out on a date with a potential mate! In a study conducted by Dr. D'Adamo in 1999, he found some interesting connections between blood type and personality. Type As most often described themselves in ways related to the following characteristics: sensitive to the needs of others, good listeners, detail oriented, analytical, creative and inventive.
Live Right!
In addition to exercise, stress management and eating the right foods, here are some key lifestyle strategies for Type A individuals.
- Cultivate creativity and expression in your life
- Establish a consistent daily schedule
- Go to bed no later than 11:00 PM and sleep for 8 hours or more. Don't linger in bed, as soon as you get up, get going!
- Take at least two breaks of 20 minutes each during the work day. Stretch, take a walk, do deep breathing exercises or meditate.
- Don't skip meals
- Eat more protein at the start of the day, less at the end
- Don't eat when you are anxious
- Eat smaller, more frequent meals. (3 meals & 2 snacks)
- Engage in 30 to45 minutes of calming exercise at least 3 times a week.
- Plan regular screening for heart disease and cancer prevention.
- Always chew food thoroughly to enhance digestion. Low stomach acid makes digestion more difficult.
WIP
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
The Goddess and Her Money
Family, Religion and Money are three things that should not be mixed yet these topics came sliding together Wednesday afternoon. My husband and I's goal this summer has been to get out of debt. We have ultimately given up quite a lot in order too do this. We have a roommate, we eloped and my husband volunteered for deployment. We set goals and are continuously working on managing our money to meet them. We are by no ways in the complete clear but we are one payment away from paying off the first of three credit cards. We can see the finish line and then there is a hurtle.
That hurtle being my sister, who has decided that being a missionary is her calling. She found a trip to Australia to go on. Being the big sister I'm initially supportive until I find out some more details about the goals of the trip. One being to convert the Muslim population who vacation in the Gold Coast area. I was very frank with my sister stating my views on co-existence (which she does not share) and appreciation of multiculturalism along with my core belief that, "there is only one [Universal Power] and [they are powerful] to all: therefore it is important that everyone is seen as equals before [Them]. I've always said we should help a Hindu become a better Hindu, a Muslim become a better Muslim, a Catholic become a better Catholic."--Mother Teresa
Besides the religious perspective the last thing I want is for my sister who has a very big heart for Christ to get involved in some Christian fundamentalist cult of conservatism and get hurt on the other side of the world trying to change a peoples' cultural religion. My husband and I agreed that although we didn't agree with this particular mission of this trip we could be supportive of my sister's efforts if that's what the Universal Power wanted for her. We each contributed in our own ways I brought her a $100 backpack to use primarily on the trip and Philip donated about $50, we were both satisfied with that.
Two weeks ago my sister's trip was topic of discussion again, her trip is scheduled for mid-July, as to whether we could afford to make another donation and again the discussion of supporting a mission not in line with our beliefs or values. We decided that at that time we couldn't afford giving a couple hundred dollars with our current budget.
Done deal, right? Wrong! This article is called 'The Goddess and Her Money' for a reason.
Five months ago I was listening to a podcast that really stuck a cord with me. I read about five to six personal finance blogs a day, but this was a podcast about Wicca, that my husband enjoyed and recommended to me. In it Ariel, the host, was going over giving issues over to the Goddess (one of the major aspects of the Universal Power) and doing Her will in the situation. The primary focus was money and how we can give everything else to Her and not the money ones. Then when we get into trouble with money we do all the spells and prays to rectify the situation, it works but then some time passes and we're back in the same situation. Ariel's thoughts were that if we just give it over to Her (conceptualize that any funds we get are to do Her will in the world) then worrying about bills getting paid is like worrying if corn is going to grow; They (all aspects of the Universal Power) will provide.
I had shared this idea with my sister and she concurred that Christians have a similar one, and we then discussed being good Stewards of a Higher Power's finances.
Being a good Steward is not always easy and I have to admit the concept was new too me at the time. I have learned so much about myself and in knowledge just by embracing this concept. It has become a comfort too me esp. in those trying moments of not falling into past behaviors.
In the midst of being in conversation with my husband about how great it feels to accomplish our goal of paying off the credit card. I had stated we should never use the card again. My husband in an effort to be reasonable said it would be good to have in an emergency. My counterpoint is that we should be saving for an emergency fund, by paying ourselves first etc, a credit card is not an emergency cash fund. Hurdle!
My sister calls all frantic and upset that she still needs her ticket for her trip and that the company who acts as her sponsor will only reimburse her, but she needs a credit card to book the flights.
Do we have a credit card? Sort of...
Could we buy her ticket and she'd give us the reimbursement? sort of...
I personally have learned a very hard lesson with credit cards...I'm not successful with them. The ones we have are Philip's.
And too keep the peace in so many ways (it being my sister) He left it up too the Universe to solve and me to handle the light work at the cost of his peace of mind.
I, on the other hand, putting my whole faith in the Universe aside for just a moment, am looking for the blind spot in all this. There had better be some incredibly lost souls in Australia because I don't get it (but who am I to presume to know what the Universe has in store for any of us). Maybe this is how God proves to my sister that I'm right in my core that we must co-exist, how else do you explain the Spiritualist and the Wiccan financing the Christian to share the words of the Christian God to others primarily of the Muslim faith?
But on the money tip, in the best case we smoothly still pay off this credit card by August; in the worst my marriage ends. I can't even fathom that but everyday we make choices and living with the decisions we make is the hardest part which is why I have chosen to put all of this in faith at Her Feet.
Goddess of All,
Divine Creator and Destroyer
I give you the vows of my marriage,
our wallets and our futures
to do Your will in the World
as good stewards and living examples
of the Universal Divine.
Blessed Be.
That hurtle being my sister, who has decided that being a missionary is her calling. She found a trip to Australia to go on. Being the big sister I'm initially supportive until I find out some more details about the goals of the trip. One being to convert the Muslim population who vacation in the Gold Coast area. I was very frank with my sister stating my views on co-existence (which she does not share) and appreciation of multiculturalism along with my core belief that, "there is only one [Universal Power] and [they are powerful] to all: therefore it is important that everyone is seen as equals before [Them]. I've always said we should help a Hindu become a better Hindu, a Muslim become a better Muslim, a Catholic become a better Catholic."--Mother Teresa
Besides the religious perspective the last thing I want is for my sister who has a very big heart for Christ to get involved in some Christian fundamentalist cult of conservatism and get hurt on the other side of the world trying to change a peoples' cultural religion. My husband and I agreed that although we didn't agree with this particular mission of this trip we could be supportive of my sister's efforts if that's what the Universal Power wanted for her. We each contributed in our own ways I brought her a $100 backpack to use primarily on the trip and Philip donated about $50, we were both satisfied with that.
Two weeks ago my sister's trip was topic of discussion again, her trip is scheduled for mid-July, as to whether we could afford to make another donation and again the discussion of supporting a mission not in line with our beliefs or values. We decided that at that time we couldn't afford giving a couple hundred dollars with our current budget.
Done deal, right? Wrong! This article is called 'The Goddess and Her Money' for a reason.
Five months ago I was listening to a podcast that really stuck a cord with me. I read about five to six personal finance blogs a day, but this was a podcast about Wicca, that my husband enjoyed and recommended to me. In it Ariel, the host, was going over giving issues over to the Goddess (one of the major aspects of the Universal Power) and doing Her will in the situation. The primary focus was money and how we can give everything else to Her and not the money ones. Then when we get into trouble with money we do all the spells and prays to rectify the situation, it works but then some time passes and we're back in the same situation. Ariel's thoughts were that if we just give it over to Her (conceptualize that any funds we get are to do Her will in the world) then worrying about bills getting paid is like worrying if corn is going to grow; They (all aspects of the Universal Power) will provide.
I had shared this idea with my sister and she concurred that Christians have a similar one, and we then discussed being good Stewards of a Higher Power's finances.
Being a good Steward is not always easy and I have to admit the concept was new too me at the time. I have learned so much about myself and in knowledge just by embracing this concept. It has become a comfort too me esp. in those trying moments of not falling into past behaviors.
In the midst of being in conversation with my husband about how great it feels to accomplish our goal of paying off the credit card. I had stated we should never use the card again. My husband in an effort to be reasonable said it would be good to have in an emergency. My counterpoint is that we should be saving for an emergency fund, by paying ourselves first etc, a credit card is not an emergency cash fund. Hurdle!
My sister calls all frantic and upset that she still needs her ticket for her trip and that the company who acts as her sponsor will only reimburse her, but she needs a credit card to book the flights.
Do we have a credit card? Sort of...
Could we buy her ticket and she'd give us the reimbursement? sort of...
I personally have learned a very hard lesson with credit cards...I'm not successful with them. The ones we have are Philip's.
And too keep the peace in so many ways (it being my sister) He left it up too the Universe to solve and me to handle the light work at the cost of his peace of mind.
I, on the other hand, putting my whole faith in the Universe aside for just a moment, am looking for the blind spot in all this. There had better be some incredibly lost souls in Australia because I don't get it (but who am I to presume to know what the Universe has in store for any of us). Maybe this is how God proves to my sister that I'm right in my core that we must co-exist, how else do you explain the Spiritualist and the Wiccan financing the Christian to share the words of the Christian God to others primarily of the Muslim faith?
But on the money tip, in the best case we smoothly still pay off this credit card by August; in the worst my marriage ends. I can't even fathom that but everyday we make choices and living with the decisions we make is the hardest part which is why I have chosen to put all of this in faith at Her Feet.
Goddess of All,
Divine Creator and Destroyer
I give you the vows of my marriage,
our wallets and our futures
to do Your will in the World
as good stewards and living examples
of the Universal Divine.
Blessed Be.
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