Name Change

So I changed the name of this blog. I think Nest is a more appropriate name since this is where I will be writing about lifestyle topics and how I'm getting a life.
A Nest has alot of symbolic meaning in relation to life. They are set up to protect and nuture family. Family is a big theme for me this year. I want to cultivate relationships and  go deeper in some of my shallower ones. I realize as with anything else you have to be the family member you want to interact with to do this. In most cases we negect that premise in famial relationships simply because of the societal connotations that anything goes since the physical relation is there. I have expressed this often in the past; why do I let ( insert relative's name here) ( insert verb here: hurt, treat, believe, enable etc) me positively/ negatively  when if they were not related I  would/not allow it?
If you ever asked that same question then you and I are having issues with boundaries. FAMILY  does not mean a person has carte blaunche of you--Only you can allow that as with any interpersonal relationship. I have fallen prey to that false conculsion as well at times; it happens it teaches us.
A Nest is a home, constructed and reconstructed for it's season each piece is choosen with care and specific purpose. I hope to build and develop this space for family with in and with out of myself.
In addition some of the past posts will also become hidden but I hope to add content regularly so you might not even miss it.

WIP,
Trina

Children?

"Are your Pregnant?" this is what my Mom asked me when I told her that my boyfriend of three months and I were discussing marriage. This at least to me seems to be the primary conclusion that people jump too when you do marry quickly. Most people don't voice such a conclusion but then she is my mother.
Being newly married this is the next question, "Are you going to have kids?"' wink, wink, nudge, nudge.' Besides being incredibly embarrassed that other random people such as my boss, colleagues and the lunch lady make statements on your sex life, to me it makes a statement of our social models and standards. Now that it is socially acceptable to have sex I should immediately be knocked up as well. 'First comes love, then comes marriage, 2 seconds later I have a baby carriage? WTF?

We did, my husband and I, discuss having children. It was mostly deciding on a time on which to pursue the subject further. We thought that 2013 would be a good year to start baby making if the world doesn't end. Hey, it worked for us with Obama.

It's the science of it that is daunting. On the male side there is this impression that sperm will always work forever. But on the female side there's a finite number of eggs and years compounded by risk. Yesterday, I got July's Marie Claire and it was full of articles about getting pregnant with titles like ' How to Have a Baby and Keep your Man'; '10 Things to Ask your Doctor About IVF' and 'The New High Tech Pregnancy.' Knowing that their stats are skewed and not exactly correct still does not help the quiver at the bottom of my stomach.

Then there's the birth control issue. I'm personally tired of myself going through the 'hormonal crazies' every month. These last couple ones without it have been a recurring "preggers" scare nightmare. Knowing myself, I'm too neurotic to play it cool. From past experience, I'm not one to suffer from the usual symptoms of pregnancy and I'm irregular. Anything slightly off when I finally do have my period sends a warning that it could be any other disorder or disease women in my family have suffered from besides a baby as well. I realized this morning that I have to stay healthy "baby ready" even if we don't have kids for the next ten years. I'm making an appointment with my doctor tomorrow!

I have friends that have newborns and toddlers and then some that are still dating and club-hopping. It's hard to know where to fit. My one friend who has the most similar situation to mine lives 60 miles away and goes to boot camp this summer. Logically, I should make new friends, but I really don't want too I have enough as it is. I can admit that I like children and I want them eventually even spontaneously when I'm ready. However that's the true question: When will I be ready? How will I know I am? Was I ready before and missed my chance?

My husband probably thinks that children will just come along when you have reach that level for such a spiritual challenge. But I work everyday with the results of unplanned pregnancy, the condom breaks, and when the risks win. I have issues about being caught unprepared. Ultimately I know this is one of those things I should entrust in the Goddess about. Yet I feel that just as she brought Philip and I together in a whirled wind she could very well do the same with our reproductive systems.

Work-in-progress