In To The Woods...

As of late my husband and I have been learning Ogham as a form of divination used by Druids. It has been very interesting learning all the coordinating trees, symbols and meanings. My initial background is Wiccan which I have been for some years now. I practice solitary which is how I like it. I can create my own rituals and doctrine as I need or feel inspired too. Although I am very private about what I practice spiritually I am very comfortable sharing with others my beliefs.
Until Beltane I never really questioned where or how I stood in the Wiccan realm. Alone on a hill with a Tree was a perfectly nice spot.
For Beltane, Philip and I along with my friend Lena, joined a new Druid Order in ritual and celebration. We all had very different reactions to the forces about. For me it was one of the most physically evident rituals I have ever experienced. All previous ones were dreamscapes or the coming together of events and actions that is only possible by Her will denoted to me by intuition.
But something that night called to me. I was very nervous before was we drove to the sanctuary. I could feel myself pulling out of the consciousness that we occupy daily as we go through our routines. Lena was trying to hold a conversation with me about how the past few days had been very rough for her emotionally and romantically, I can admit that only a very small part of me cared I could not map out a spatial reality on which to connect with her issues. My main objective was to get the pie (for fellowship afterward) and get to the church on time.

We got there just in time!

Now I don't know if it was the way the ritual was set or my mindset or it could have been all things finally coming together in time and space but I felt my hands, one individually warm like when you hold them to the fire after coming in from the cold and the other cool as if my hand had just been wet, though it was dry the temperature was the same. At points through the ritual the heat and coolness spread up my arms and I was completely divided and balanced between the two.
Then my visualizations were also very intense and vivid. Rings and columns of red, blue and yellow covering and connecting those in the circle. And once I heard Lena reaction there was a distinct block, like she was not included, I remember everyone in the circle being covered and connected but there was also a feeling of a void to my left, where Lena had been.
She later related that she too had strong feelings of being pushed out and of destruction. It was as clear to her that she shouldn't be there as it was for me to be there. We went outside to the grove and did a ritual for Lena and ultimately I think that why she came with us that night because she recommitted herself to her practice. Being a solitary I can tell you that having a balancing counter part to work with can be so necessary at times. To many often we are left to our own devices as to how to express the God and Goddess and their various forms; the duplicity can be difficult to manage. She too commented on my hands.
I really don't know what the others felt, Philip felt something but didn't really share. I was wrapped in the magnitude of these hands of power and their meaning. Which brings us to the present and the flood of Druidry that lands at my feet. Spiritually the connection to Nature has always played an important role. I try very hard to live my beliefs daily and show them in my actions.
I feel that I have stood on this hill with this great Tree next to me for a long time; it has sheltered and protected me and I cared for it as well. And then I, full maiden, turn around and realize that there is a forest, beautiful and grand, that calls to me to explore it. Currently I am at the treeline playing along the shrubs and bushes as a little girl. The trees tower over me with wisdom, knowledge, and impressive strength. Fear and worry of losing my way and not being able to come back consume me. I hover....

This is a new journey for me. I have no idea what's in store, which is how She works.